=Humor=
As manager of a corporate computer help desk, I strive to obtain concise information from users who are experiencing problems. Recently, someone sent an email that required no further diagnosis: "PLEASESENDHELP.MYSPACEBARISSTUCK!"

--Alan Parsons-

Getting into my car one night, I turned the key and was dismayed to discover that the battery was dead. I took out my mobile phone and dialled the automobile club. Just as the dispatcher answered, there was a loud car accident on the highway nearby.

"Wow," the dispatcher said, hearing the crunch of metal on metal. "Most people wait until after the accident to call."

--Tim O'Brien-


 

 Before I could start my first job right out of college, I had to present evidence that I was a US citizen, so I brought a driver's license and birth certificate.

The clerk looked at my driver's license and copied down some information. She then picked up my birth certificate and gave it a good, long look. "Is something wrong?" I finally asked.

"Yes," she said. "I can't find the expiration date."

--Greg Delmain--

A tough old cowboy told his grandson that the secret to a long life was sprinkling a little gunpowder on his outmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously and sure enough, lived to the ripe age of 93. When he died, he left behind 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

--Carolyn Javaux--