Running Away

I could not believe that my roommate had decided to commit suicide. The
last time I saw her, which was that morning, I could not find anything
extraordinary in her. She was in her routine--drinking a cup of hot
chocolate and reading the morning paper. Her expression showed me that
she was eager to start another fresh morning of the year, but nobody
knew that within the next twenty-four hours, a suicidal transformation
would occur.

I began unfolding the last letter that she had given me. Her
distinguished handwriting seemed to have magnified as I absorbed every
word of the letter. Initially, she mentioned about her big
disappointment of not getting any role in the play of Les Miserables.
She went on to mention that her life was completely a wreck and there
was no other way out except to cut it short. Tears started brimming my
eyes when i came to the part in which she admitted that she had always
looked up on me. Even though both of us were merely amateur actresses
who went to many unsuccessful auditions, I still survived. She ended
the four-paragraphed letter with a negative quote: 'I know that
committing suicide will not solve the problems, but I have no regrets in
it.'

Suddenly, I felt dizziness in my head. While tears continued to trek
their way down my cheeks, I started shuddering uncontrollably.
Memories of us together flashed clearly in my mind. Her smile, her
confused expression, even her perfume scent could not dissipated from
my mind. I just realized that I missed her terribly.

I returned the letter to Inspector Coleman and excused myself. looking
at my condition, Inspector Coleman offered to drive me home, but I
refused, I spent the whole journey justifying for reasons why she had
to do such a foolish thing. She was trying to run away from her life, a
life which was full of obstacles, with little happiness. She should
have waited for a light to shine in her dark life. God had always been
fair. No matter how hard our lives were, he would give us the
opportunity to realize that life was indeed beautiful. It was a misery
that Samantha was impatient enough to wait.

When I reached home, the first thing that I did was to hear the messages
left on the answering machine. There was a new message from an
unfamiliar number. The female voice boomed clearly with confidence.

"Hi Sam! This is Connie Lee from Singapore Repertory Association. Just
to inform you that you've got the lead role as Cossack in Les
Miserables. Congrats!"

I was in disbelief. If only Samantha were here...